Monday, March 30, 2009

The Cold War

I’ve been a bit quiet here since Dr Sketchy’s; there’s a reason for that. Even though it was the models who took their clothes off- it was me that caught the cold.

Combined with trying to keep on top of the various things I willfully commit myself too (through no other reason that I can’t bear to miss out on anything), something had to give. So the blog suffered (as did I).

The annual experience of a virus put me in mind of this poem I wrote a few years ago during my 8 year stint as a regular columnist for Next Magazine. Feel free to print it out and stick it to your medicine cabinet. Irritatingly, backyard P manufacturers have made it almost impossible to buy anything with pseudoephedrine in it across the counter without a police check first. I worry constantly that the boys in blue will come knocking at my door because we’ve had 4 packets over as many weeks. Who wants to get high? I just crave a clear head!

The Cold War

This really can't be happening,

I don't believe it's true,

Yet all the signs are looming

Yes…I've got the bloody 'flu.

I thought it was a hangover,

From the wine I drank last night,

Alcohol can make you sick,

And I'm pretty crook all right.

My muscles ache from head to toe,

My throat is lined with sand,

The pounding brain inside my head,

Sure needs a helping hand.

I'm reaching for the garlic now;

I don't go much for drugs,

Orange juice and propolis,

Will fight off winter bugs.

But just in case they don't work fast,

I'll slip in Panadol,

Coldrex, Coldral, Benadryl,

And two Orthoxicol.

Having covered all my bases,

I think I'll now retire,

From work, the kids, my husband too,

And quietly expire!


Melinda Szymanik said...

Its no fun being sick unless you have a bunch of slaves to take care of you and fulfil your every whim. Hope you are feeling better soon. Have you tried driving the virus out with alcohol - that sometimes works


word verification - ingled (what saying England sounds like when you have the flu) said...

Fifi my dear, you must get well
Shake off that cold the sneezing spell
Rise up real soon and shake it off
Away I say to that damned cough

Your “working parts” must keep on working
The flu is no excuse for shirking
More Velvet Ladies long for life
Good Morning crafts will be in strife

Rise up I say, fling off those sheets
Your talent calls for endless feats
Leave being ill to lesser others
No hiding underneath the covers

Get out your pencil, pen and paints
This is no time for flu complaints
You’re needed girl, both far and wide
A talent on a rising tide

Rise up, I say get out of bed
Well, if you must, a day or two
But don't stay long –you’re far too strong
And soon we’ll all be missing you.

Get Well Soon :)

Fifi Colston said...

Ah... Maggie at the Bay
You're daggy in the nicest way
xx said...